Are you loved? It’s a tough question. Your mom loves you. Your pet. Your best friend. The guy who gives you an extra shot of espresso every morning. But do your customers love you? And do they feel the love from you?  I am particular about the brands I rep based on heritage, lifestyle and brand personality.

These brands feed me useful and timely communications, special pricing based on my pre-stated interests and consistently deliver a quality product. And I am fiercely loyal.

But brands can take communications too far, much as a smothering date who calls too much, can’t seem to remember your favorite color, and continually asks you to pick up the tab. If it’s unacceptable in personal relationships, is it acceptable for a brand’s relationship with its customers?

Shouldn’t notes be personal?

Shouldn’t offers of affection be based on customer needs, not brand mandates?

Shouldn’t relationships grow over time?

Even Molly Ringwald had to roll her eyes when Ducky left her eight messages in one evening when all she wanted was one message from Blaine (it’s a name, not a major appliance).

What to do? What to do? Look at the customer database like a personal relationship. Would your best friend enjoy four invites to watch your home movies, or a quick note about sharing a great bottle of wine she mentioned to you a few weeks back?

Consider the following:

1. Value each name: the act of providing contact information is no longer a given, so treat each name as a person and foster the relationship.
2. Be considerate: people are busy. Don’t hit the database with one communication after another. Have rules on usage so the brand doesn’t build a relationship based on customer voicemail and junk mail.
3. Be informative: when communicating, give customers what they want. Avoid the temptation to over-communicate.
4. Be there: be available to support customers. Provide options in case there are additional questions.
5. Get smart: each communication is an opportunity to learn about the customer. Take each click or download and apply it to the record. Use it to create custom communications.

Customer relationships, just like personal ones, require time, dedication and fidelity.  Share the love.